My worst enemy...
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...is obviously myself. And I'm not alone in this, when I say "I", maybe you should read "you" or "we".
"A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."
The things I do(n't do)
I don't appreciate what I have and often think I could be better off. I keep on overlooking the instantaneous beauty of passing moments and always expect more. Basically, I'm trying to live in the future, which is but a way of escaping present.
I forget I am somebody. A living creature that needs rest and has other basic needs, I forget I'm not an immortal piece of metal inside the giant social machine. I keep forgetting I am going to die someday. I forget I am alive now.
I kill myself slowly with junk food, skipping meals all together, bad sleep, cigarettes and irrelevant information overload. It's been a while since I drew a deep breath of frosty mountain air or sniffed the sea. When I get there I read the newspaper of look frantically for a network pipeline.
I limit my usefulness to very few people. I'm integrated yet alone, I'm plugged-in yet mostly useless. I move forward with no real purpose. All my purposes became trivial, wrapped in glamorous wrappings as they may be.
I no longer ask fundamental question and no longer believe in anything that I cannot see, smell, feel or hear, I've become a set of highly developed sensors with no real goal, I exist only as a reflective projection of myself, amongst all other phantoms.
I'm my own enemy
There's always room for blaming others. Not this time. It takes but a second to know, deep down, I'm the only one to blame. This is not a sci-fi flick. The wires are not embedded in my flesh, the Earth is not a post-nuclear scourged wasteland and the stars stay far away. It should not be hard to unplug, really.
But I'd rather subject myself to this new and utterly complex drug for not-so-stupid-people that modern living actually is. I bathe in an ocean of meaningless information, under the electric lights. I'm growing less human (whatever that is) by the day.
I turn myself into a delusional mechanical creature, if such paradox can be. I voluntarily let life drain out of me and trade flesh and bones for useless nothings. I let days go by with no memories worth retaining.
I waste it all, because I'm modern.
I would've been better off hunting and gathering. Or at least ploughing a small garden somewhere on the surface of Mother Earth.
New World Order • modern living • information overload • degeneration
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