Personal equilibrium requires one thing: you must know who you are and where (in the largest sense) you are. The rest, all the way to happiness, is just a matter of assuming this situation within reality. Knowing who you are, and where you are is the basis for becoming someone else, somewhere else, in case you want it.
The doubt brought about by not knowing who, and where you are will inevitably force you to lie to yourself about being someone else, somewhere else. With no equilibrium, life becomes an incessant, dreadful effort.
Find out who and where you are. Before that, "where am I going" is utterly irrelevant.