I freakin' hate Javascript!
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Wait, I actually freakin' loathe it! And since I'm currently and unintentionally involved in a big project demanding JS, all my old hatred shall spill in this post. That or I'll just go out in the streets screaming like a lunatic.
I've worked with most of the great languages, loved some, liked some, disliked some, but Javascript - now there's an absolutely horrific story of hate at first sight. Never in my entire programming career have I come so close to smashing the computer and/or my own head than when I had to deal with prodigious complexity in Javascript.
I hate Javascript's pathetic lack of power, its impotence in doing truly great stuff easily, at least PHP-style, if not the king's (C++) way. The way you have to beat around the bush just mimicking programming slickness is tiresome to say the least.
I totally hate Javascript's sick way of dealing with type casting and variable instancing, its imbecile and childish simplicity, its elitist (read: dumb) approach to OOP. Not to mention the gruesome task of debugging Javascript code, which is, I know that now, just one of the ordeals developed for programmers in Hell, and being tested in this world, as we speak.
Uh, and I absolutely hate JS' crawling performance, it's one of the slowest interpreted languages I know, in a medium already suffering of lacking speed and thus needing all additional help it can get.
Not to mention the intensity with which I hate Javascript's stupefying disregard for security, allowing for that disgusting script-kiddie creature to spawn and thrive among sane men.
Finally, I strongly hate the fact the some people, somewhere, in the mists of the beginnings, decided that client-side dynamics are not that important altogether, so why not just invent a mockery of a model and language to deal with those needs, and then make it like, a standard. That subsequently, due to its crappy nature, eventually became an incredible mess, so much so that developers are actually required to test for JS language features just to correctly detect the browser! WTF?!
And so, there actually are users that disable Javascript in their browsers, missing on all those wonders that took excruciating hours to develop.
Oh yes, and there's no other alternative to this crap, by the way. It's like this conspiracy around this motif: let's not develop something powerful and suitable for client-side programming, ain't it funnier the way we have it now? Nope, it is not. The damned thing doesn't even have a "brand" logo, for God's sake!
Thanks again, Brendan.
And this is not as funny as you may be inclined to think...
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