Varia (category)

Miscellaneous articles.

You’ll never be/date Britney Spears

Or Brad Pitt. Never. Assuming you want to. If you don’t, read no further, because your unhappiness does not come from such trivial matters.

So, you day-dream and you yearn and your eyes keep getting wet and your heart pounds faster when you think of/see your new found idol. You imagine how you could make everything perfect for him/her if only this shitty life gave you a chance. Maybe you see yourself walking in their godly shoes, maybe you see yourself as being thought of by millions as you think of your idols. You sigh and watch those dear movies and concerts, you buy the DVDs, the memorabilia and so forth. You’re a fan. That makes you a fanatic. That is to say you have come to idolatrize an image. Make no mistake, this image is of your own making; they suggested it to you and you infused it with your ill-channelled hopes and dreams, as always taking the easy way towards cheap self satisfaction. You crossed the line between entertaining yourself and tormenting yourself with the unreachable. This you did for what even a superficial analysis reveals as being nothingness. Please aknowledge that you just managed to fill the void from within with some nothingness from outside! Congratulations. I’ve once watched a show about Madonna’s (oh, what a pun!) fans. I was particularly struck by this young, beautiful woman that was a die-hard devotee. She collected everything she could get her hands on, related to her goddess, she had all the albums and compilations, T-shirts and posters, everything. She was young, truly beautiful and popular amongst her friends. She was a hell of a woman, if you ask me. She could have been someone’s goddess herself, easily. Her face inspired. Yet she strangely chose to be only some fan, with an entire existence revolving around Madonna. That was all she talked about. She once saw her idol up-close. That’s where her young life peaked. And gave her something fabulous to talk about. She didn’t look happy at all. She looked hysteric.

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Web 2.0 doesn’t exist

Well, the expression exists. There it is: “Web 2.0”. But as a concept, it’s almost like talking about “Onion 2.0” just because you now do pickles differently.

I remember Andrew Keen and his position regarding this phenomena. His criticism is totally valid as long as you start with assuming that “Web 2.0” actually exists. The name itself invokes criticism. Put aside this assumption and you’ll find yourself actually talking about criticizing large scale mediocrity and large scale deification of mediocrity,  which is historically unprecedented.

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I freakin’ hate Javascript!

Wait, I actually freakin’ loathe it! And since I’m currently and unintentionally involved in a big project demanding JS, all my old hatred shall spill in this post. That or I’ll just go out in the streets screaming like a lunatic.

I’ve worked with most of the great languages, loved some, liked some, disliked some, but Javascript – now there’s an absolutely horrific story of hate at first sight. Never in my entire programming career have I come so close to smashing the computer and/or my own head than when I had to deal with prodigious complexity in Javascript.

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The Ultimate Weight Loss Plan

Lose weight? Nothing to it!

Well, then. You finally admitted to yourself that you might have a slight weight problem. Meaning you’re just a tad overweight. No too much, obviously. OK, maybe too much. Anyway, you’ve become aware that it’s no longer cool to just ignore the fact that the your clothes don’t fit anymore and others call you names. Like “fatty”.

You’ve got to thinking and admitted that this is actually a disease, can be compared to heart failure or cancer. Well, you’ve come to the right place! You’re about to find out about the easiest, most comfortable, dare I say pleasurable, weight loss plan out there!

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What it is to be normal

To be sane. Can sanity be achieved? Should it be defined statistically as the state of the majority?

We’ve been taught to dream, “dare to dream”, we’re encouraged to go forth and dream of things. We’ve been told we’re all beautiful and smart. We’ve been lied to. And no one tells us to be good. And that dreams are sometimes insidious chimeras robbing you of your very life, especially when dreaming trivial things that cannot be acquired. That’s not normal.

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Degeneration

Affects everything around us, us. There used to be moments I could not escape the feeling that we ‘re racing on the downward spiral at full speed. Now the sensation is almost uninterrupted. Everywhere I look, all around, I see the signs of it.

It is as if we were about to become a great race at some point, then everything began to crumble or, rather, melt down. I can’t look at the greatest buildings of this world without instantly remembering the hunger that still ravages most of my fellow men. I am unable to enjoy all the benefits of this so called civilization without realizing that progress only improved our personal hygiene, really. We’re still the same beasts we were centuries ago.

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Slappa Velocity Matrix Laptop Backpack Review

I needed a laptop backpack to slap(pa) around my brand new 17 inch Dell Studio 1735 and being such a thorough consumer, you know, the kind that drives shop staff crazy with endless question, I absolutely had to do some thorough research on the topic.

Laptop backpack versus laptop bag

If you move around a lot and don’t care much about that business look that the laptop bag bestows upon you (at least you think so, with your imitation leather crappy bag), the backpack is definitely the way to go. Easier to fill with things, easier to carry when heavy. The only downsides to backpacks are the poor accessibility when you have them on (you have to strip them off to go inside) and the fact that a lot of them are not designed for real urban business style, with their sometimes flashy colors and bulky metal things all over them. I also found that 17 inch laptop backpacks are kind of hard to find, they’ll be more widespread along with the increase in popularity of 17 inch laptops.

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Types of ad consumers on the web

AdsenseOr, types of “victims” you can pick when advertising on your website. I’m talking about advertising that requires positive action in the form of clicks, and about who you should target with it so that the clicks will abound.

1. The Confused

It’s that (third world country) guy who just found about the “internets” from his coworkers or his own children, and goes online from his work computer, or his child’s. He’s fascinated and confused, distrusting, yet enthusiastic. He’s so candid he’s attracted by strong colors and likes sites looking as Yahoo! did ten years ago. He is utterly incapable of discerning between a link and some underlined text, let alone a link and a link within an Adsense ad. He can be an extraordinarily bright individual, but he’s simply illiterate when it comes to online culture. He’s the ideal victim for Made For Adsese (MFA) websites and one of the best for online advertising generally.

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The thing about personal development

It’s so damn personal!

However stupefying this may seem, in light of all recent technological advances, personal development remains so darned personal.

Self betterment is still so much about the actual “self”. “Personal” and “self” continue to be the keywords here. Who’d have thought that with all this technology we’d  still have to take personal development personally? Shameful.

There are over seventy seven hundred million results for “personal development” in Google search, and over forty three hundred for “self development”. People obviously have an need to discuss it, mainly teaching it to others. Which is utterly absurd, to put it mildly.

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Micro-blogging

Public micro-blogging is exactly the crap that was missing for an even more irrelevant web in an even more hysterical world.

Who doesn’t need such useful information and insight:

11:45 just crapped. you?

11:46 http://youtu.be/plWnm7UpsXk

11:47 wiped ass. you?

11:48 forgot. any one knows what’s a kundera?

And this is the mankind you get high hopes about. If you’re a raging lunatic, maybe.

Instead of private blogging, how about, hm, email? Or IM, maybe? Nah, those are so passeé, darling.

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