For better or worse, it has come to this. I used your operating systems because I had to – everyone was developing for your sick platforms. “You don’t like it? Switch to Linux.” I would, MS, I really would, if the other players would just develop the software I use for Linux. Till then I’m stuck with you. I even learned to love your idiosyncratic way of doing things.
But it is now, when my high end computer (2.1 GHz dual-core processor, 3.5 GB of RAM) streaming HD internet video on a 22 MB/s pipe can’t play 1080p without choking, that I whole-heartedly issue “Fuck you, fuck you Microsoft, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit bastard company.” Fuck your fucked up DPC system, fuck your idiotic driver model, fuck everything about you that renders top-of-the-line hardware obsolete while still fresh from the assembly line. Fuck you. Fuck you, do you hear?
To love. To care and cater to others. To give out the effort required to do this until it becomes effortless. To give yourself out until there’s no more “I” left.
But why? This seems so unnatural. “I” is the only thing “I” knows.
Because everything else (please note: everything) is, or will shortly become dull and boring and unfulfilling. Everything you do for yourself is great and should be done. Just don’t expect any of it to keep on making you happy on the long run.
Inner balance requires at least this: you must know who you are and where (in the largest sense) you are. The rest, all the way to happiness, is simply a matter of maintaining this awareness at all times. Knowing who you are, and where you are is the sine qua non basis for becoming someone else, somewhere else, should you want it — and you usually do.
I’m tempted to say this can be reduced to the “old vs new” issue, but I know this is, in fact, only a quantitative thing. It’s not at all like the old generation was all for pleasure delaying and vehemently against instant gratification. As a matter of fact, it is the older generation that willingly devolved its taste towards instant gratification. This shift in taste is not an overnight invention of the very young, it’s just their heritage, what’s being left to them. It is our fault.
“Is death”, maintains the weaker intellect. Utterly false, as far back as Epicurus: “When we exist death is not, and when death exists we are not” – behold common-sense boiling it down to the obvious disjunction. The only certainty of life is suffering.
My two year old shitty Creative headset finally gave in, after going through a “mono period” (yes, I had to rewire it following breakage of the right driver, and it came out nice, but mono). It was a mic-headphones combo one would use for instant messaging and some gaming, but would be ashamed to admit to actually listening to music through it. May it RIP.
The audiophile and amateur musician within myself organized a subsequent inner insurrection, demanding that I buy them a pair o decent headsets, once in this lifetime, for God’s sake! Naturally, I set my mind on a pair of Audio Technica ATH-M50 studio monitors, thinking they would be great for my mini-studio, also. Well, they most certainly would. Just two things: they can barely be called portable, and they’re rather expensive (over £130).
Truism time! Enjoy life, for it is extremely short.
The moments of such revelation are seldom, perhaps you get one every year or so, and they are almost instantly negated or, worse, dismissed out of misguided cynicism. This is probably the only revelation worth living by. Yet we almost never do, even after being blessed with it, more than once.
Enjoy life, for it is absurdly short if you don’t. Plus, it’s sometimes shorter than expected.